The Loss of a parent.

Last week my husband suffered the loss of a parent. On Thursday August 3rd 2017 at 8:28pm my father in law took his last breath after fighting a long time with congestive heart failure. It wasn’t sudden as he had been on hospice since right after Easter, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I am not one to handle death well, never had been. And I tried so hard to be strong for my husband but it felt impossible. I had just gotten dropped off from spending the day with my mom when we got the news. Gave her a call and told her to turn around as we needed someone to watch Ella while we went to the nursing home to see Dad one last time.

I didn’t know what to do. I tried to put up a front, so I could comfort Johnny but it wasn’t working. I’m an emotional person so the emotions come out whenever. It doesn’t help that at the moment I was between medicine for my depression so my moods were all out of wack. Close family came before the funeral home came and picked him up. I’ve never been in this situation seeing someone after they passed like this. I mean Ive been to many viewings never really able to go up and see as I always broke down. Dad just looked like he was sleeping and would wake up at any second to crack a joke or yell at everyone for crying.

Ella and Papa

I am glad my daughter is so young. I couldn’t have told her her papa was gone and wouldn’t be coming home. She grew up with him around till he went to the nursing home. They ate cheetos together and cheese puff balls and other things they would spend a lot of mornings together munching on different foods.  Ella was papas favorite little girl. She even knew who it was when we would visit. She would want to get out of her stroller and crawl into the hospital bed with him.

I remember when he was in the one nursing home where they had tvs for each bed she would crawl up and cuddle with him. He would turn it to cartoons even if the news was on. He would sneak cookies he wasn’t allowed to have. Just so he would have something to give her when she came and visited. They were best buds. I think I may ask my family to write little stories of Ella and papas time together. Just so she has something to remember him.

He was a wonderful grandfather to Ella, and he will be missed. Rest in peace Dad hope you are having fun being couch buddies with Brit