Does Mama Brain Ever Go Away?

I’d forget my head if it wasn’t attached.

Yes yes I know that saying is said all the time but i’m not kidding. Today I woke up after barely sleeping last night due to my chronic back pain and Ella was awake. I went and grabbed her to lay her down beside me while my husband got ready for work. He rarely works on a Monday so I didn’t think anything about it. Well it wasn’t until after he left that I remembered that I was supposed to go to a meeting for Ella. I felt like such an idiot, as we only have the one vehicle I called everyone I could think of to get a ride. It was a no go. So I had to call up the case manager for Early Intervention and said we would have to reschedule.

Am I gonna be a good advocate for her?

With Ella having a disability there is so much I need to know that I just cannot remember it all. I mean pretty soon we will have to have a meeting to talk about her IEP for preschool. When you have a typically developing child, yeah you gotta know if its a good school but with a special needs child there is SO much more. From IEP to nursing to making sure they are going to treat her right, not like the stories you hear. I just don’t know how to learn about it  all. My mama brain feels like I am in college again.

Thankfully our local Down Syndrome group has a lending library so I borrowed a few books about IEPs and Wrights Law. All of them were written by Paul Wright who is an attorney who specializes in children with special needs rights. I almost got to go to a seminar he was having but wasn’t able to attend then. So much I need to learn and it feels like no time at all to learn it. Ella turns 3 in April which is when Early Intervention ends. So she has to go into preschool to continue to get services. I don’t want to put her on the wrong track in life so I guess its time to crack open the books and start learning.


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What The Doctors Never Told Me

When you are pregnant with your first child it can be scary enough, but when that child you are carrying has something “wrong” with them makes it even worse.

Now I put the word “wrong” in quotes because there is nothing wrong with my daughter, but that’s how the doctors acted. I was about 12 weeks pregnant with my daughter when I got the phone call (yes a phone call) that the MaterniT21  showed that the baby that I was carrying, My baby, would be born with Trisomy 21 or in other words Down Syndrome. They then set up the appointment to discuss our “options”. Now what is the first thing you think of when you hear the words options while you are pregnant…yep that was the first option they gave us. Abortion, amnio or proceed with the pregnancy like normal. Of course we chose to proceed like normal, and they proceeded to tell us all the things that could go wrong.

Things that COULD go wrong

Heart issues

Intellectual delays

Not amounting to much

The list goes on and on. See the thing is most doctors only see what could go wrong. They never tell you what could go right.

They never tell you that that little one will be the best thing that ever came into your life. That their smile is contagious and can light up a room and take all your cares away. They don’t tell you of the family you gain when having a child with Down Syndrome. The support you get when things go wrong and the joy you share when things go right. You become part of a community that no matter what they have your back. You have questions don’t be afraid to ask cause well hey they have been through it.  They don’t tell what beautiful, fun, and loving human beings they can be.

When you go into that appointment don’t dwell on what the doctors tell you could go wrong…Just remember all the things that could and WILL go right.