Please Don’t Take It For Granted

Please don’t take it for granted, and by it I mean a normal life.

I will say it again, please don’t take it for granted. As it is summer time I see a lot of posts about vacation or kids spending the night with family. I will say this I am happy for y’all but I am also a little jealous. We don’t get the opportunity to have family getaways or let Ella go spend time with family.

Last year we were invited to go on a week long vacation with my dad. Unfortunately we had to decline because we couldn’t take a nurse with us. We would’ve loved to gone but we wouldn’t have been able to enjoy our vacation we would’ve been sleep deprived.

Last night my brother in law was talking about having Ella having a slumber party at his place when he gets his own place with his fiance. Unfortunately that cant happen since she needs all her machines and it isn’t the easiest thing if you don’t know how to work them.

Our family loves the outdoors and we would love to take Ella to go camping under the stars. She would absolutely love it, but she needs her machines to sleep, and you don’t have electricity in the middle of nowhere.

Do Not Take This Wrong, Please

Please don’t get me wrong I WOULD NOT CHANGE ELLA FOR ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD!!! I just wish we could do things and take her places,is that wrong? I want to take her on a vacation at some point to who knows Disney or something like that. But we will probably have to wait till she gets older to go anywhere so that she understands she needs her machines. And maybe we will be able to lessen the load (have less machines, or at least more compact)

What Is Financial Peace???

What is Financial Peace??? And Where the heck do I find it???

So last year I started trying to follow Dave Ramsey and he talks a lot about financial peace. You know the whole live debt free, or as he likes to say “If you live like no one else, then you can live like no one else”.  I have such a hard time trying to follow that. Not saying it’s a hard method to follow its just hard to follow when the money isn’t coming in.

My husband got laid off the week before Christmas and has yet to find another job. So I went out and applied to be a substitute teacher and finally after all the clearances and training I can finally start. Now since I can’t guarantee that I will be getting a that many jobs tomorrow I am going out and applying at a local bar/restaurant to try and be a waitress. I have never done that before but I am just trying to make a bit of money. Like I said in a previous post I am scared, anxious and not looking forward to it. I hate the thought of leaving Ella. Hell even leaving the house sometimes scares the crap out of me. But sometimes you just have to fight yourself to get done what needs done. That struggle isn’t an easy one at all.

How I got in this mess.

Everyone has their stupidities right? Well when I was in college, I was determined to build my credit up so when I graduated I could move out of my moms. I got my first credit card during college, it was a chase card with a basic $300 dollar limit. That wasn’t the only one. I then got 3 more which wouldn’t have been all that bad if I stuck to my original plan. Buy something small then pay it off in full every month. Well things came up (don’t they always) and I spent more then I wanted to.

First I got my ex a new phone and put him on my cell phone plan and got a wedding band for him since we were engaged. Then I had friends who were in a rough spot so i felt the need to help them with the thought of them paying me back when they could. You can see where this is heading right. All I wanted to do was help people and that’s what I did. To be honest I was still doing fine, or so I thought. Then the New Years Eve before we were going to get married…my ex broke up with me. Since he was on my cell phone plan he said he would help pay for it, and I believed him.

Well he never did, so I canceled his phone. Because it was under contract, I had to pay a cancellation fee then also pay for the phone. So all in all that cost around a grand…

Then I went on my internship that I needed to graduate college, so I didn’t work for a long time and things fell behind and everything started going downhill. I never recovered.

How I plan on getting peace for our family.

That was 5 years ago so as you can imagine interest, collections…and then student loans came into play also. Anyways…Now that the back story is done and over with let’s turn this over to positivity ok…Ok 🙂

So as I stated earlier I currently am a sub for our local school district. Tomorrow I have an interview at the bar/restaurant and hopefully it goes well. It is killing me inside doing this but I am determined to get at least non student loans paid off this year. I am starting with the Dave Ramsey 7 baby steps. For those who don’t know what those are they go as followed:

  • $1,000 to start an Emergency Fund
  • Pay off all debt using the Debt Snowball
  •  3 to 6 months of expenses in savings
  • Invest 15% of household income into Roth IRAs and pre-tax retirement
  • College funding for children
  • Pay off home early
  • Build wealth and give!

I feel bad for my husband seeing as 95% of our family debt is unfortunately mine. Thankfully he understands ya know things happen and such. I just wish I didn’t have all of this debt in the first place. I know I cannot change the past but I know that with work I can change the future. As a child who grew up in poverty, I don’t want my daughter to grow up like that. Thankfully she is young enough to not really realize what is going on so I am hoping by that time we are in a better place and more financially stable. I just hope it doesn’t take long…or that my anxiety and depression can be kept in check so I can deal with it all.

Well that’s all for now. Thanks for reading 🙂

Reflections Of 2016, The Good, Bad & The Ugly

As the year comes to a close her are my reflections of 2016.

This year has brought heartache, love, worries, and joy. As I sit here watching my daughter play with my brother in laws puppy I can’t help but remember how this year went. Its 6 right now as I start writing this only 6 more hours left of the year to write down my reflections

The Ugly and Bad

I started this year all planned to budget and be financially stable, but come March I lost all interest. When March came around Ella got really sick and on my birthday we had to take her to the ER due to high fever. Later that day we found out she had RSV and she had to be admitted. We spent a whole week there and I didn’t leave her side. Her heart rate was out of wack and so was her O2 saturations throughout the week. I, being a concerned special needs mama called all of her  specialist to just make sure everything was okay. It was just the RSV running its course. Once she was healthy enough to come home I lost all focus of my new years resolutions and just focused on Ella. She is fine now obviously but still scared me.

This was Ella during her hospital stay this year.
Even when sick her smile never leaves.

Then May came around my husband lost his job which was absolutely devastating. What were we gonna do I was a stay at home mom, he was our only source of income. Thankfully we were able to budget and learn to live within our means and make it through. It was hard but we made it. That’s why this year we are sticking to a budget and learning to save. You never know what tomorrow will bring.

Then as my previous post I lost my fur baby Brit the Monday before Christmas. Currently I am having some issues cause my brother in laws puppy looks a lot like her. Maybe this year we will get 2 more puppies one for me and one for Ella 🙂

The Good

This year we had a lot of ugly and bad things happen to our family but we also had a lot of good things happen to us too. My husband was able to get not one but 2 jobs which helped us out a lot. Ella got to go to yearly visits for Cardiology and Pulmonology. She also doesn’t need to have another sleep study for a year. I will write about her next one cause it is NOT a pretty sight lol. I also got a job…though I don’t really want to leave Ella. She is starting Preschool soon and the job I got will be good for me.

I got a job as a substitute teacher, which means I can work as much or as little as I want. With my anxiety I am petrified to leave Ella. When I am away from her I always get anxious. This job will let me start out small and work my way up. I haven’t worked since 4 days before Ella was born. That was over 2.5 years ago, so thankfully with this slow start my anxiety won’t be to bad.

Well family is starting to come so I should probably go. Have a safe and Happy New Years Eve. If you are drinking tonight please please PLEASE have a dd or call a cab.