Down Syndrome Awareness Month: Day #3 Welcome to the World Little One

*Disclaimer*

For this post Down Syndrome Awareness Month: Day #3 Welcome to the World Little One, it may be a little graphic and also may trigger someone so please read with that in mind.

Routine Check Up???

At 40 weeks plus 1 to 3 days (we were never given an exact due date with Ella) we got all dressed up planning on going out after my appointment for one last date night before Ella came along. At that point, our appointments looked something like this.
1. Visit with the Doctor
2. Non Stress test (sitting in a chair for like an hour just monitoring Ella)
3. Ultrasound
So we went in and talked to the doctor. She also did an exam to see how close Ella was to making her arrival. So after the exam, she had said she didn’t want us to go any further in the pregnancy. So she wanted to induce me. (give me medication to put me into labor).
She let us know she would schedule the induction for the following day at 5:30 am.

The non-stress test went smoothly as it usually does.

Ultrasound

After the non-stress test, we were taken over to the ultrasound room. Everything was going as planned until the technician went to check the fluid around Ella. She tried multiple sections of fluid space and still couldn’t find what she needed. What we found out is that in order for babies to survive in the womb they need at least a 2×2 square of the fluid. The technician could not find that 2×2 square. So for the last week (I had weekly ultrasounds at this point), I had been leaking fluid and not even knowing it.
As a result of the findings, the doctor let us know we were not leaving. And we would be having a baby tonight. I was so excited to say welcome to the world little one.

Panic or Excitement??? I couldn’t tell.

Well so much for one last date night. My stomach was in knots, but I couldn’t tell if I was panicking or excited. We called our parents and let them know that we would be welcoming Ella to the world that evening. And we headed to the hospital. Which was right across the street from the doctor’s office so not too far.

When we get there we check-in and they take us back to triage. From there they do all of our intake information, you know name insurance so on and so forth. And I change into a lovely hospital gown…please note my sarcasm here. So after they get our information, they start the medication to induce labor and once the room was ready they wheeled us up. Getting even more excited to say welcome to the world little one.

Labor

When we got to the room, everything started to become real. I waited patiently for my mom to get there, yes I wanted my mother there. When she finally arrived my contractions had started. Now everyone I know who has been induced said that induction contractions are the worst. For me, it was more of a dull ache the whole time and honestly, it didn’t hurt that bad. When the doctor came in I was dreading it.

I should mention a little side note here. The OB office I went to I never stayed with any particular doctor towards the end of my pregnancy because I did not know anyone that well. The nurse practitioner I usually went to did not do the actual delivery. So I went here towards the end.

Back to why I was dreading it when the doctor came in. This doctor is the one who basically told us that Ella would not amount to anything and we should abort her. So we are already on a rocky start. She comes in and says we need to break your water.

This is another thing that people had told me about, which is it would feel weird but not painful. Unfortunately, this was not the case. When the doctor went in to break the water she went in sideways. Picture this you are bowling and obviously, you want it to go down the center to get all the pins right. Well, the way this doctor did this she took the ball and went straight for the gutter (aka the side). It hurt so bad that I started bawling.

Complications

She then told me that since I couldn’t stand that she is ordering an epidural since I obviously wasn’t going to be able to handle childbirth. I felt bullied into it. When going into this I had wanted to have an all-natural birth experience. But I was young and trusted my doctor to know what is best for me so I did what she wanted.

That is when things went down hill…

After the epidural was given the nurses came in more often, to reposition me. The doctor also came in looking concerned. After this happening a few times I asked what was going on. Come to find out that after the epidural was placed Ella’s heart rate had started to drop and when they repositioned me it only helped for a little bit and then her heartrate would drop again.

The doctor came in and said well unfortunately the baby is not handling labor and we need to pull you in for emergency C-section…

Surgery

I was in shock… Not only did the doctor make me feel like weakling because of the whole epidural thing but now she was making it sound like my baby was dying. The tears started falling at that point. I was scared. I was the girl who prided herself in never needing surgery, stiches, or even broken a bone. And now I am going in for a major surgery to save my baby girl.

Only one person was allowed to come with me back to surgery so of course, my husband was going. I was having a panic conversation with my mom (who had had 5 C-sections with us kids) feeling like a failure. All because I could not have my baby naturally. While having this conversation my husband was getting into this fancy get-up to go into the operating room. Then my mom left and they started prepping me for surgery.

So after what felt like forever, they wheeled me off to the O.R. and my anxiety started going at full force. They wouldn’t let my husband in right away and I was scared. There were a lot of men in there and because of an incident when I was younger, I was petrified. They were just about to start surgery when they finally let my husband in.

I laid there feeling cold and exposed. I tried to make jokes by asking my husband ‘can you see my organs’ or ‘take pictures so I can see it later’. See I was trying to distract myself. Also in all honesty I wanted to see. I wanted to see the birth of our little girl, I was feeling cheated. I wanted to be the first one to say welcome to the world little one.

Welcome to the World Little One.

After what felt like forever I hear it. The one noise every mama wants to hear when delivering a baby. I heard her cry. Welcome to the world little one I said in my head. They took her right over to the side to do all the necessary checks and they let her daddy hold her.

That’s another thing you feel cheated from. Being able to hold your baby first. You carry her for 9 months and you want to be the 1st to hold her, but your arms are strapped down and cannot move.

So my husband brings Ella over and that was when we picked her name. Eleanore Katherine, meaning Pure (Katherine) Light (Eleanore)

Welcome to the world little one
“May you touch dragonflies and stars, dance with fairies, and talk to the man in the moon. May you grow up with love and gracious hearts and people who care. Welcome to the world, little one. It’s been waiting for you.”

Author: Unknown

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A little Dragonfly’s Journey with Down Syndrome Ellas’ Story

Read day #1 here Down Syndrome Awareness Month: Day #1 Diagnosis

Read Day #2 Here Down Syndrome Awareness Month: Day #2 Extra Appointments

Down Syndrome Awareness Month: Day #2 Extra Appointments

Down Syndrome Awareness Month: Day #2 Extra Appointments

So Down Syndrome Awareness Month: Day #2 Extra Appointments wont be super long as there was only 2 “extra” appointments. Yes we had a lot of ultrasounds because of her diagnosis but I am talking above that.

Extra Appointments #1 Geneticist

So unfortunately due to my health issues, my memory is not the greatest so I don’t remember this appointment much. I do remember parts though so I will tell you what I do remember. So when we went there again there was a discussion of how her life might be and whether we wanted an abortion or amnio which of course we declined. I asked my husband if he could remember the appointment and he remembers basically what I did. Trying to be coerced into doing something we did not want to do, just because of her diagnosis. I don’t think it helped that we were also young and 1st-time parents. I have a feeling that we had that going against us as well during this whole time.

Extra Appointments #2 Fetal Echo

For those who do not know, one of the traits of having Down Syndrome is the potential to have a congenital heart defect or CHD. (so if you see CHD used in anything else that is what it means). So because of this, we got scheduled for what’s called a fetal echo. If you do not know what an echo is think of it as a glorified ultrasound but of the heart. A fetal echo is basically the same thing a more in-depth ultrasound of the baby’s heart. Our appointment was super early in the morning, I want to say like 7 am because the cardiologist wanted to fit us in before her regular appointments. She was up from Children’s Hospital for her clinic day, meaning she was actually a pediatric cardiologist.

We get there and they bring us back to the room and the echo technician starts the echo. Let me just say how they can understand anything during those scans is absolutely incredible. They check the blood flow using 2 different colors to see if everything is running smoothly and according to the echo it was. The tech left to bring in the doctor as she also wanted to go over things and she also said everything looked fine.

Though we find out later why everything looked fine…which is a story for a future date. So please come back and read up on more of Ella’s journey with Down Syndrome.

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A little Dragonfly’s Journey with Down Syndrome Ellas’ Story

Also read day #1 here Down Syndrome Awareness Month: Day #1 Diagnosis

Down Syndrome Awareness Month: Day #1 Diagnosis

Down Syndrome Awareness Month: Day #1 Diagnosis

I decided to do a series during Down Syndrome Awareness month from diagnosis till now. So here is part 1. Down Syndrome Awareness Month: Day #1 Diagnosis

Expecting


I was 23 when I found out I was expecting. My husband and I had only been dating for less than a year so it was news to us. When I took the test I was extremely nervous, I had just graduated from college and had barely figured out what I was going to be doing with my life. But there I sat and saw those 2 little pink lines show up that would forever change my life.
I told my husband (then boyfriend) and a week later we got confirmation. Sept 4th, 2013 we were in the parking lot of the doctor’s office he picked me up, spun me around, and with a big smile on his face said “we are having a baby” and I got even more excited to share this moment with him.

The Concerning Ultrasound

Fast forward to week 12 we went in for a routine ultrasound and the tech said “there is a little extra here on their neck” (before we found out her gender) “not to worry though we just want to run some extra tests”. Okay no big deal my Mother in Law said “oh he had this also its nothing to worry about”


So I went in got the bloodwork done and thought nothing of it. Until we got the results…

Diagnosis

I got a call while I was at work from the Doctors office can you please give us a callback. Hurried up went to the break room to call the office and that is when I got the news. “Hey so the tests came back, the baby has a 99% chance of having Down Syndrome. Let’s schedule you an appointment to meet with the doctor”. They said that so nonchalantly that it took me a second to process what was said.

I was in shock, but unfortunately, I didn’t have time to be that way I was still on the clock. I worked at electronics at Walmart at the time, so I went back on the floor to work.

Then everything hit me. I texted my husband, my mom, my dad, and my mother in law to tell them the news. I ended up crying, everyone asked what was wrong, which I then said what the call was about. Everyone tried to cheer me up saying ‘those tests are not always accurate, I know so and so and they know someone with Down Syndrome and they are fine’, all this helped me make it through the rest of the workday.

The Doctor’s Appointment

So we went to the doctor’s appointment. They brought us in and sat us down. I am going to give you the cliff notes version of what was said. The doctor looked at us and said it is a girl. The baby has Down Syndrome, as you may know, they have a lot of health issues and don’t amount to much. So you have 3 options,
1. we can get you scheduled for an… (I hate this part) …abortion,
2. you can get an amnio to confirm which may result in miscarriage or early labor, or
0 3. you can go along with the pregnancy as is and see what happens.

Our Thoughts

I looked at my husband. We both knew that no matter what that was our daughter and nothing was going to change that. Even if we were scared 1st-time parents. We went with option 3 of course and never gave it another thought.


So their ya go that is our diagnosis story…follow along for more of raising our little dragonfly.

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A little Dragonfly’s Journey with Down Syndrome Ellas’ Story

Also If you want to see a previous post about what the doctors failed to tell me about having Ella read here:
What the Doctors Never told me

Weigh-In Wednesday Week #2

So here we are Weigh-in Wednesday week #2 of my year-long journey to weight loss and healthy living.

(Here is the week one post ( http://dancingwithdragonflies.com/weigh-in-wednesday/ ))

Weigh-In Wednesday Week #2 UPDATE: I weighed myself today and I am at 159.6. I have lost almost 3 pounds this week.

Since the beginning of the year, I have walked 10,000+ steps every day. I get most of that done by doing laps around my office on my breaks and lunch (I work at a desk and can eat my lunch at any time). When I get home my oldest daughter loves to dance so we sometimes have dance parties. Especially now that she has discovered Disney Descendents she absolutely loves those movies. So all those little things help me a lot in getting my steps in.

Another thing I did was I went to a Zumba class at our local YMCA. If you have a YMCA locally I recommend you go and check it out because they have so much to offer. I have to say the class was extremely fun but also challenging as well I kept tripping over my own two feet. The music was upbeat and kept the energy going. I was just about drenched in sweat afterward. I am hoping to start making it a weekly thing to help with this weightloss journey.

https://www.zumba.com/en-US/

Food-wise I have drunk more water and eaten fewer snacks, which is hard when you work at a desk and get the boredom munchies. Everyone knows the boredom munchies, where you think you are hungry but in actuality, you are just bored and need something to do, happens to me every day. But I have been really good this past week and not snacking as much as I usually do.

Goals for this week: Well this week I obviously hope to lose a few more pounds. I know It is slow going but I am excited to see the scale start to go down. I am also hoping to learn some office exercises to work on in my cubical just to help some more. If you have any ideas leave a comment below.

Weigh-In Wednesday – Week #1

So one of my goals for the year is to lose weight. So I figured the best way to hold my self accountable is to post about it weekly. It kind of helped that the year started on a Wednesday so Weigh-in Wednesday sounds great.

Yes I know today is Thursday but yesterday was a holiday and I was spending time with family.

Even though I was spending time with my family I still managed to do 2 things. I did weigh myself and I did get to 10,000 Steps.

So this year my goal is to get down to around 120-125lbs as of yesterday I weigh 162.2lbs. I really hate posting this number. Before I had kids the most I ever weighed was 120 which was pushing it. I am looking to get close to that at least.

My steps to reach that goal is as followed:
1. Walk 10,000 steps a day
2. Drink lots of water
3. Exercise more

How I Plan On Getting There.

So walking 10,000 steps require some kind of step counter correct? Currently, I have a Samsung Gear S3 Frontier ( which you can see here https://www.samsung.com/us/mobile/wearables/smartwatches/samsung-gear-s3-frontier-sm-r760ndaaxar/ ).
I would Like to get a new Samsung Galaxy Active Watch 2. (Seen here https://www.samsung.com/us/mobile/wearables/galaxy-watch-active-2/ ). My current watch is glitching out and isn’t measuring as well as it should. I am looking at the FitBits also because I have heard great things about it. Though wearing 2 different devices can be silly looking 😉

Next is to drink lots of water. I purchased this bad boy here on Amazon. A link to something similar is in the description. Usually, I just fill it up to 80 ounces because that is half my body weight in ounces. At least that is what I have seen being recommended. I did start last year with drinking more water which you can see here ( http://dancingwithdragonflies.com/new-years-resolution-so-far/ )

https://www.amazon.com/Venture-Pal-Motivational-Leakproof-Sports-Pink/dp/B07Q42RRRL/ref=sxin_3_ac_d_rm?ac_md=1-1-Z2FsbG9uIHdhdGVyIGJvdHRsZQ%3D%3D-ac_d_rm&crid=2N87GMJRALI3E&cv_ct_cx=1+gallon+water+bottle&keywords=1+gallon+water+bottle&pd_rd_i=B07Q42RRRL&pd_rd_r=e9cb5e26-1ae2-42d7-9f8a-1425b5db244c&pd_rd_w=n55tG&pd_rd_wg=KHUcu&pf_rd_p=6d29ef56-fc35-411a-8a8e-7114f01518f7&pf_rd_r=Z7BEPDT3GFH16VF3VNES&psc=1&qid=1577984051&sprefix=1+gallon%2Caps%2C145

Exercising more maybe a little bit harder. Our Family has a gym membership but finding time to go is hard. I work a full-time job and then want to spend time with my girls. I may start going once a week and slowly build up to going more. There is only so much I can do at home.

Why I Am Determined.

What I look like right now.

This is a current profile picture of me. I know its close up so hard to fully see but I don’t have a full-length mirror. So it is the best I could do. I am not sure how many times I get asked if I am expecting. Which side note NEVER ASK A WOMAN IF SHE IS EXPECTING!!! Honestly, it makes me feel crappier than I already do. Besides wanting to look better I also want to feel better. Currently, 3 doctors think I have something called Chronic Fatigue Syndrome which basically means I am exhausted beyond normal everyday tiredness. Which is another reason why working out is hard for me. After only a few minutes of doing anything I feel ready for a nap, but being a mom of 2 active girls and working full-time naps are not always easy.

So this year I am determined not to let the excessive exhaustion get me down and I am really wanting to feel better overall. So this year is my year and I plan on doing better for myself

New Year New Me… A New Years Resolution Post

I know everyone says it right? So here is your New Year New Me… A New Years Resolution Post.

Well, I have to say I feel very proud of myself. Last year I had a few resolutions I figured the more I had I would at least get one done. Well, I did I stopped drinking pop (Soda) and did not drink any the whole year. Another resolution I had was to wish everyone on my Facebook friends list a happy birthday and I am proud to say I did that too. Something that I wanted to do but did not was, lose some weight and be more persistent in my blog writing.

You can see my resolution post from last year here :
http://dancingwithdragonflies.com/new-years-resolution-so-far/

New Year New Me… Goals 1, 2, 3

New Year New Me… A New Years Resolution Post
The mapping calendar

So this year I have it all mapped out I am starting an accountability thread where every Wednesday I write a post about my weekly fitness triumphs and failures and post how much I weigh. That in itself is scary for me as I am very self-conscious about my weight since having my girls. So I am hoping that I can motivate myself into losing weight. My goal is to lose enough to look good when the summer rolls around so that I can go to the beach with my girls and not feel gross.

Another goal of mine is to walk 10,000 steps a day. Now this one is going to be hard for me I feel because I tire very easily some days it was hard to make my 5,000 (which I did every day for 6 months so far) but I really want to push myself and make it work. They say walking this much helps you lose weight so maybe it will go well with goal number one.

Goal number three is to read more. Not only do I want to read the bible in a year (which if you don’t have it go download The Bible App from Youvision ( https://www.youversion.com/the-bible-app/ ) it has different reading plans to go at whatever pace you want.) I also want to do the Rory Gilmore Reading Challenge well half of it. The challenge is 339 books so if I get through half of them I will be happy. I am thinking of maybe doing an online book club for anyone who wants to do it. Either on Facebook or Goodreads ( https://www.goodreads.com/ ) so if you would like to join the challenge comment on here which would be better.

Goals 4,5,6

Goal four, five and six is to do more things I enjoy. Which is basically writing more between blog and book ideas. So at my job, I have a desk calendar that I have written different blog post ideas that I want to do 3 days a week (maybe more) and I also have a word count that I want to work on and possibly get my short story finished or make it longer into a novel. Goal 4 is to do more crafting I started crafting and selling things and it is very fun to do. Goal 5 is to relaunch my photography. My husband got me a really nice camera last year and I really want to work on my photography more I miss it

This Is My Year

I am hoping and praying that this year works out. The end of last year made the rest of the year not matter as much so I am determined to make this whole year a good year. What are some of your goals this year? Any big plans? Well, whatever you do make it a good year too. The old saying is you only live once well that isn’t true you live every day you only die once so make every day count and live life to the fullest.

New Years’ Resolution…So far

Okay so it is a little over halfway through the year and I think its time to reflect on my new years’ resolution.

No Pop/More Water

So this year I decided I was going to give up pop (soda) and drink more water. Well, I am proud to say I have not drunk one all year so far (Yay me). Unfortunately, the water intake is still on the low side. I definitely drink more then I had in the past but it still isn’t where I need to be.

Aint this the truth…

I plan on ordering one of those timed bottles that say ‘Hey drink this much before this time and you are all set” The one I want is like $ 20 dollars on Amazon.com it’s the QuiFit Gallon Portable Daily Water Bottle with Drinking Straw and Motivational Time Marked My favorite is the teal and black color. I want the 128 oz so then I can fill it up at home and not worry about leaving my desk the rest of the day (unless I need ice but I can get that on my lunch break).

Another thing I have been doing to kick the craving for Pop (soda) is I have been drinking these drinks called Body Armor. They are flavored coconut water and it is delicious. My favorite flavor is the watermelon strawberry. It kinda tastes like a melted ring pop which brings up some fun childhood memories.

Weight loss is so stressful

Another New Years’ Resolution I am trying to do is lose the baby weight that I haven’t been able to lose since my youngest. Whom was born 14 months ago. Another reason I dropped the pop (soda). I have been walking more and watching what I eat and such. But unfortunately, I have not lost anything as of yet. If anything I have gained 🙁 . So my husband and I are trying a new thing. For every pound, we lose we put 10 dollars in a jar. When we reach our goal weight we will do something special for ourselves.

We are starting today and hopefully, we can make it happen. Also thankfully we are starting today…my husband has lost 12 pounds since the last time he weighed himself. So go him but I don’t have 120 to put in a jar right now hehe.

So here is to the 2nd half of the year and hope things get better.

Hiatus is Ending…I Hope

Hiatus is Ending….I Hope

Hey guys I apologize for being away for the last few months, and I am hoping this Hiatus is ending now.  It has been a busy couple of months and before I knew it, it was November already…Well in the last few months Ella has started school at Headstart and has been sick a lot (I have heard its normal for the 1st year of school) She has so far missed probably 10+ days of school in 2 months yay…not. I also started working as a teaching aide at a local school so that is exciting. I just hope that I don’t get sick because hey I have some news 🙂

I’m Pregnant 🙂

Yep, we found out in August and currently I am 15 weeks. We did have the harmony test done due to Ella having Down Syndrome. Test results came back that this little one has only a 1 in 10,000 chance of having any chromosomal abnormalities, and this little one is also a GIRL 🙂  We announced on Halloween cause hey why not lol.

A day after we got the confirmation about the pregnancy, I was in a car accident and put enough damage on the truck that we couldn’t afford to fix it. I was fine and baby was fine, we were just without a 2nd vehicle for a while.  I ended up breaking down and getting a mini van….told myself I would never get a mini van but here I am. It is a very nice vehicle and was really nice when we traveled to Missouri a couple of weeks ago. We went to drop of some furniture and visit my sister in law

.

Well that is all for now I have lots to do today and not a lot of time to do it. Talk to y’all soon

The Loss Of A Parent.

The Loss of a parent.

Last week my husband suffered the loss of a parent. On Thursday August 3rd 2017 at 8:28pm my father in law took his last breath after fighting a long time with congestive heart failure. It wasn’t sudden as he had been on hospice since right after Easter, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I am not one to handle death well, never had been. And I tried so hard to be strong for my husband but it felt impossible. I had just gotten dropped off from spending the day with my mom when we got the news. Gave her a call and told her to turn around as we needed someone to watch Ella while we went to the nursing home to see Dad one last time.

I didn’t know what to do. I tried to put up a front, so I could comfort Johnny but it wasn’t working. I’m an emotional person so the emotions come out whenever. It doesn’t help that at the moment I was between medicine for my depression so my moods were all out of wack. Close family came before the funeral home came and picked him up. I’ve never been in this situation seeing someone after they passed like this. I mean Ive been to many viewings never really able to go up and see as I always broke down. Dad just looked like he was sleeping and would wake up at any second to crack a joke or yell at everyone for crying.

Ella and Papa

I am glad my daughter is so young. I couldn’t have told her her papa was gone and wouldn’t be coming home. She grew up with him around till he went to the nursing home. They ate cheetos together and cheese puff balls and other things they would spend a lot of mornings together munching on different foods.  Ella was papas favorite little girl. She even knew who it was when we would visit. She would want to get out of her stroller and crawl into the hospital bed with him.

I remember when he was in the one nursing home where they had tvs for each bed she would crawl up and cuddle with him. He would turn it to cartoons even if the news was on. He would sneak cookies he wasn’t allowed to have. Just so he would have something to give her when she came and visited. They were best buds. I think I may ask my family to write little stories of Ella and papas time together. Just so she has something to remember him.

 

This is the last photo we have of them together.

He was a wonderful grandfather to Ella, and he will be missed. Rest in peace Dad hope you are having fun being couch buddies with Brit

Update on Life Ella’s surgery

Update on life: Ella’s surgery

Okay so Update on Life Ella’s Surgery. On July 25th Ella and I spent the night at my moms as she was going to be having dental surgery the next day. I slept on an old pull out in my old bedroom while mom stayed with Ella so that I could get some sleep. I didn’t sleep as the mattress was thin and uncomfortable. Also my pups (who had training that night so she was with us) thought it was time to play.

Next morning we got up super early to take my two sisters to work as my step dad had their van. We then headed down to CHP. As most of you know whom have had surgery you cannot eat after midnight, well try telling a 3 yr old that, the whole drive down Ella was cranky and signing eat. To top it off her surgery wasn’t until 1…Lovely. Well we get down there earlier then our appointment but they took us back anyways. We sat in a room with a hangry Ella and nothing we did seem to help.

Then they told us that they needed to put drops in her eyes as she was having an eye exam too since she never sits still during the actual ones. What I mean by drops are super strong dilation drops, 2 in each eye 3 times 10 min apart…. That did not help with the hangry Ella let me tell you.  So then they came in with a sedative to help calm her down before taking her back, and finally she started to calm down. Then they took her back to start the hour and a half surgery/eye exam.

After surgery.

My mom and I went to get lunch then came back and waited till the doctors came to see us. Eye doctor said that she did need new glasses which didn’t surprise us. Then the dental surgeon came out and said they ended up taking 2 more teeth then planned as they were broke beyond repair. They also put silver caps on 4 of her teeth. 15 min or so after doctors came and updated us we were able to go back and see her in recovery. She looked miserable. Her mouth was all bloody she was sleeping but restless.

They told us we had to get her to wake up and drink 4 oz before we could leave, she wasn’t having it. I think it took 4 hours before we could get her to take anything and it wasn’t even a drink. We got her to eat a pudding cause they said at this point anything we can get into her stomach the better. After that we took a very upset little girl down to the car to take her home. From the time we left recovery to the time we got her in the car she was screaming no matter what we did. When we got in the car we were hoping she would go back to sleep, but she didn’t and she screamed for 3 hours straight.

Car Ride

I was an emotional wreck. My mom cannot drive long distances so I drove, and I had to pull over multiple times to get out and take a breather. It was so hard to drive with my eyes full of tears. I know other moms can understand this. I could not stand to see my baby in pain and it was killing me inside, to the point where I told my husband to drive down and meet us at my moms cause there was no way I could drive without someone with me. Between Shadow and a screaming Ella I knew I wasn’t going to make it home especially on what little sleep I have had.

Home

When we got home finally we still couldn’t get her to drink even her pain meds. Thankfully her main nurse was working that night and was able to get her to take some. I think I was asleep before the nurse even got there all I know is I just wanted to forget that day ever happened. Also I had to work all day the next day. It took her a few days to finally fully drink anything but I am just glad she was eating the soft stuff.

Today

Today she is finally back to eating her favorite foods again and seems to have healed nicely. I am just glad its over